Experience: Parents With Low Self Esteem and Confidence

Low self esteem and lack of confidence in children can be caused by the behaviors learned from their parents. Ever think about the comments you make about yourself in front of your child or children? Do you look in the mirror and make negative comments about yourself? When you make a mistake, do you acknowledge your mistake by talking down about yourself? Do you make comments like, “I am not going to try because I can’t do it anyway.” “I can’t ever do anything right.” “I give up.” “I can be stupid sometimes.” Your child is learning to have the same behavior.

One way to help your child build self esteem is to build your own first. Practice positivity and avoid making negative comments about yourself. You CAN do it. Practice makes perfect. You ARE beautiful or handsome and unique in your OWN way. Believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will – or worst, your child or children will pick up on the negativity and loose confidence in you, themselves and life.

Remember, children become what they see and hear. They are more likely to pick up the habits of the people they are around the most, trust, admire and/or respect. Be careful with what you say and do around your child or children.

If you’ve realized you have some work to do regarding building your own self esteem, here are a few simple steps to take one day at a time:

Step 1: Work on your attitude towards challenges. If the challenge, for example, is to try something new or try a task you didn’t complete up to your standards the last time you tried it or you didn’t try or complete the task at all – remember, no one knows how to do everything perfectly. Making mistakes is healthy sometimes because you learn from them.

Step 2: If you really need/want to complete or succeed at a task, determine your true fear of the task you decided not to try. If needed, seek professional help to conquer that fear. Or, for example, if the true fear is loosing credibility, being joked, judged or mistreated by family, friends and/or co-workers if you don’t do well, remember step 1 – no one knows everything. Everyone makes mistakes at times. Preparation and practice is key. Also try to keep people around you that has your best interest.

Step 3: Avoid mentally and verbally beating yourself up. Often, we are our own worst critic. Instead, set small goals and be realistic with yourself. If you’ve tried and aren’t happy with your results, try again. The next time you try it, you may be a little better at it. If you feel yourself getting frustrated or impatient, take a break. Try again.

Step 4: Celebrate and acknowledge your own accomplishments. Each time you accomplish something and take a moment to digest the accomplishment, you’ll see your self esteem and confidence build a little each time.

Good luck!